From Bill Michalski's Captain's Mast

One day after our parade ground routine and just before being dismissed for supper, our company officer told us to check the "watch" list which would be posted on the barracks bulletin board. We were told that "watches" would begin that evening at 2000 hours. I was still having trouble with what I considered a screwy way to tell time, so I asked a petty officer what time 2000 hours was. I was rudely informed that it was 8 p.m.

So far we hadn't had any lectures on standing watch, so I didn't take what he said too seriously, as we always were getting lectures on how we were supposed to behave or perform. I noticed a large group surrounding the bulletin board, which got me kind of curious. I waited until the crowd thinned out before going over to investigate the bulletin board. Printed in large letters on one sheet of paper were the words "Fire Extinguisher Watch." A long list of names followed and the time of each man's four hour watch. My first reaction was that this must be some kind of a Navy joke that was played on recruits in boot camp. Why, I thought, I'll bet that some guys are just dumb enough to actually spend four hours watching a fire extinguisher. Yeah, those guys from Maine looked to me like the types that would fall for this joke. There was a sheet next to it that said, "Clothesline Watch." At this point I had trouble controlling myself and broke out in a loud laugh. Next to my name was the time for my watch: 0000 hours to 0400 hours, tonight. I quickly made the translation; that meant from midnight until four o'clock in the morning. Again I asked myself what kind of a dummy would fall for such obvious crap. Well, at least the Navy personnel that dreamed this up have a sense of humor, I thought.

"Okay, okay," I responded in my groggy state, not fully comprehending what was going on. After a few minutes, I realized that this was connected to the bulletin board joke. I couldn't help thinking that this was an awful lot of effort to put into a joke -- and with that last thought, I rolled over and went back to sleep.

A half-hour later I was practically pulled from my bunk by the same guy, and it was now plain that he was pissed off and meant business. "Get your feet on the deck, sailor, and get dressed." He waited until I was fully dressed. While attempting to get dressed in semi-darkness, I took the opportunity to remind him that my feet were on a floor not a deck. I also surmised that a great deal of clothing was being stolen from the clothesline and they wanted someone to watch for the thief. I left the barracks and headed for the clothesline, which was just behind the barracks. The sailor standing the 8 to 12 watch began cussing me out for being late and I could see why -- he was half frozen. I was only outside for fifteen minutes when I began to get cold. It was December, a foot of snow was on the ground, and a raw, cold, damp wind was blowing in from the bay.

I was walking up and down the clothesline area just to try and stay warm. It was then that I noticed that on the entire clothesline the only thing hanging was a pair of socks. This is some form of Navy insanity, I thought to myself. They want me to stand out here for four hours in this freezing weather just to guard a pair of socks. Walking over to the socks, I removed them from the clothesline; the initials on the socks informed me who the owner was.

Returning to the barracks, I went directly to the bunk of the sailor who owned the socks. "Lenny, wake up."

He was startled by my presence and replied, "What the hell do you want, I already stood my fire extinguisher watch."

"Lenny, I want to buy your socks for two bucks." Without waiting for a reply, I shoved the two dollars into his hand and left. I returned to my bunk, got undressed, and crawled beneath the blankets. Now I could go back to sleep, I thought, as there was nothing on the clothesline to watch.

I had been asleep for only a few minutes when the blankets covering me were suddenly jerked from my bunk by several angry petty officers wearing armbands. After a verbal whiplashing and threats about brig time, they ordered me to get dressed. As I got dressed I wondered what this punishment called "brig time" was all about. After putting on my pea jacket and watch cap, they proceeded to escort me outside to the clothesline.

"You're going to remain here until you are relieved at 0400 hours --understand?" ordered the petty officer with the most stripes on his arm.

"Okay, okay," I replied, "if you get any more excited you're gonna wet your pants."

"Kid, you had better get smart quickly or you're headed for a lot of problems. When speaking to a superior, you say, 'Yes, sir,' understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, I understand. I mean, 'Yes, sir.'"

After they left, I began walking the full length of the now empty clothesline, as this was necessary to stay warm. After a while, I was beginning to have serious thoughts about walking off of the base to Newport and catching a train for home. My thoughts were constantly interrupted by a petty officer who was checking on me every half-hour. Every so often, I would check my watch to see what time it was. Damn thing must be broken, I thought, I must have been out here an hour but it only showed that fifteen minutes had gone by.

I had trouble keeping my eyes off the empty clothesline. It was a constant reminder of the insanity I was caught up in. Here it is December, a foot of snow on the ground, it's three o'clock in the morning, and I'm freezing my ass off guarding a clothesline with nothing on it.

My thoughts began to center on the fact that I had signed up for four years and I'm not even out of boot camp and I'm hating the Navy. I had just recently learned another Navy term: "chickenshit." Yeah, that's what I'm in for, I realized, four years of chickenshit.